Gifts

Maybe it is a woman thing. But my mother and my fiance cannot stop giving each other gifts. Cheryl came to visit over Thanksgiving and brought three gifts. I guess as a housewarming gift it is OK to bring something, but three gifts. And today i find out that my Mom sent Cheryl something from LL Bean.

Why? maybe because she was embarassed that Cheryl brought three things for her with nothing in return. Maybe she is afraid Cheryl will change her mind. Who knows? But i think this is a never-ending cycle of giving.

I am a nice guy. Or at least I am told that i have been nice at times. But i have felt the need to overgift. A bottle of wine to a party, yes. A gift to the host if i am the overnight guest maybe. but never anything this bad. In fact, the only times i ever tried to overgift was with girls who i liked more than they liked me.

I've never seen guys do this. maybe i haven't been around enough but i think in many ways female gift giving can be territorial. I remember when a female friend of mine passed the Bar exam a few of my friends were discussing where to send the flowers. should we send them to her office? We decided that it would be inappropriate to send a female flowers at the office because of the way it may be perceived. Would she believe that we were trying to stake our claim to her by sending a gift. If we were dating her, it would definitely be wrong.

This gets me to thinking. Maybe giving gifts is more about the giver than the person receiving it. Maybe the social mores are driving this gifting and the givers wants to proof that they are in compliance.